My Rebellion
by sadisticscribbles
Summary: "Forget everything they ever told you about love. Because they know nothing." Rated M for minor violence, language, and upsetting moments. Oh, and a good dose of racy slash as well.
1. School Boys

**This story was beta'd by the wonderful Shakespeareia-pay her a visit, why don't you? **

**Yes, it's Marius/Enjolras. **

**Enjoy?**

Marius had forgotten how hopelessly awkward changing residence was.

Lugging his trunk up the stairs, he wondered vaguely what he was going to say once he finally got to the room. He felt _"Hello, I'm your new roommate." _lacked tact.

Room 214. That was the one. Thank God it was close to the stairs, Marius's arms felt as though they were being ripped from their sockets.

Taking a deep breath, Marius knocked. A moment later, the door opened, revealing another man, blond curls framing his face.

"New roommate?" He inquired. Marius nodded, glad somebody had saved him from having to speak first.

Marius dragged his trunk in, and paused uncertainly on the threshold.

"Where do you want this?"

The other man waved him off.

"Just leave it in a corner. You'll get to it at some point." He held out his hand. "I'm Enjolras by the way."

Marius nodded, shaking Enjolras's hand.

"Marius." He looked around. "Is there anyone else?"

"Look at the size of the place." Enjolras scoffed. "How could you possibly fit anyone else in here?" His lips quirked. "Unless Courfeyrac's hiding under the bed."

Marius smiled.

"Is he?"

"God, I hope not."

Enjolras ran a hand through his hair.

"So, what brings you to this pit of lowlifes?"

Marius shrugged.

"My father died, and my Grandfather insisted that I study Law."

Enjolras grimaced.

"You'll have a devil of a time catching up. At least it's the Winter term. And, just to warn you, the professors are demons in human form. What time's your class?" He added.

Marius closed his eyes with the effort of recall.

"Two-thirty... I think."

Enjolras gaped.

"You lucky bastard! I have Social Physics at ten" He winced. "I'm afraid I'm not my best in the morning."

"Show me a person that is." Marius replied and Enjolras laughed.

"You should get some sleep. There's another bed over there. Trust me, you'll need it so you don't collapse in the middle of the "Spirit of Laws" lecture." Enjolras grinned. "I'm afraid I can't stay- Sociology beckons."

The door thudded shut behind him.

Marius sat on the bed Enjolras had indicated. He had the vague impression he was now roommate to a wind storm-everywhere, yet nowhere.

* * *

When Marius returned to his room, he found Enjolras sitting at one of the two desks, toying with a fountain pen.

"Bloody Social Physics." He muttered, and then looked up. "You look half-dead."

"Monsieur Comtois lectured for two hours," Marius sat on his bed. "And then asked for the notes that none of us had taken.

"A typical day then." Enjolras replied. "Why Law? That's possibly the most boring course they offer here, not to mention almost promises a government job."

Marius sighed.

"My Grandfather just wanted me out of the house."

Enjolras nodded.

"This system poisons the family as well."

"Sorry?" Marius looked bewildered.

"Forget it."

Enjolras stood, stretching his arms above his head.

"Schoolwork is going to wait. I think Aguste Compte can stand another night of disuse."

"Where are you going?" Marius asked.

"To a place where I can make my plans of public disturbance in peace." He grinned. "I'll see you in the morning."

The door slammed behind him, and Marius heard his roommate's footsteps tramp down the stairs.

Marius was too tired to wonder where his friend had gone.

Friend.

Was he a friend?

They'd only known each other for a couple hours. Barely.

Marius fell back on the bed, still dressed. He hadn't even had time to unpack.

* * *

_Four weeks later-_

Enjolras glanced out the dormitory window. He lost concentration easily these days. Often, he'd spend his classes writing and drawing- pamphlets for the students that were still unsure, strategic maps of Paris- The plans that could turn Paris into a battleground. The Rue de Vilet was always circled.

Marius was outside, talking to a dark haired girl. Enjolras recognized her as the daughter of the beggar, swindler, and part-time confidence man, Thenardier. Eponine.

Enjolras silently applauded his roommate. Not every student was so willing to befriend members of the lower class. One of these days, he'd have to take Marius to one of the meetings at the ABC Cafe. He was smart, Marius would be a valuable asset to the rebellion. But he'd have to wait, watch him operate under stress.

Marius's footsteps thumped upstairs. Ever the gentleman, he knocked before entering, then promptly slipped on the school book that had been discarded in front of the door. Enjolras winced.

"Sorry. Flight of temper."

Marius laughed, picking the book up.

"Don't worry about it."

Enjolras caught the book, and slammed it on his desk.

"A pox on Aguste Compte and all those who teach his miserable theories."

There was silence as Enjolras went back to his drawing- another map.

"What's that?" Marius asked, coming behind him.

Abruptedly, Enjolras balled up the drawing.

"I saw you talking to Eponine." He said, changing the subject.

Marius frowned.

"Yes, what of it?"

Enjolras grinned.

"You do know she's sweet on you."

Marius gaped.

"You're not serious."

"Of course she is."

"We're just friends, Enjolras!" Marius protested.

"Perhaps she wants more." Enjolras replied. Marius shook his head, turning away.

"And she's not the only one." Enjolras called. Marius whirled around.

"Stop it."

"I'm not joking. You've caught the ladies' eye, Marius."

Marius sighed.

"Who is it?"

Enjolras grinned.

"That is for me to know, and you wonder."

Marius sighed in exasperation.

"Tell me, Enjolras!"

Enjolras took out a fresh sheet of paper.

"Well, one _might_ be that duchess's daughter we met. You know, the one with the pitted skin and lank hair? Quite a profitable match, don't you think?" Enjolras burst out laughing at Marius's horrified expression. "I'm joking. There's only Eponine."

Marius shot him a glare and opened his law books.

"That was not funny."

"Yes, it was. Your expression was priceless."

There was silence.

"Do _you_ have a sweetheart?" Marius asked finally.

Enjolras smiled, shaking his head.

"No. Never really found the time or the interest."

"Is it true, what you said about Eponine?"

Enjolras nodded, sketching a new map.

"Of course it is."

Marius watched him draw for a moment. Enjolras, feeling eyes on him, turned curiously, raising his eyebrows. Marius flashed a smile, turning his eyes back on his law book.

**Thoughts?**


	2. Degenerate

"Come on, Marius."

"Wh-what are you-" Marius spluttered as Enjolras closed Marius's law book with a snap.

"No more studying. You're coming with me."

"Where are we going?" Marius asked as he followed his roommate down the stairs.

"The ABC Cafe- home to my merry band of revolutionaries."

Marius stopped short.

"Revolution."

"Of course." Enjolras said. "What do you think I've been doing for the past few months?"

"Revolution." Marius repeated.

"Against the government, yes."

"Revolution..."

* * *

The ABC Cafe wasn't very crowded, mostly because the revolutionaries crammed the place out.

"This is Combeferre, our resident thinker." Enjolras gestured to a dark-haired man who smiled, displaying bright white teeth. "Over here we have Jolie, he's studying to be a doctor and seems to spend his life examining his tongue. And that's Grantaire, he's with us mostly to sit in the corner eyeing the ladies, and because he knows I'm paying for the drinks." Grantaire grinned and waved.

"Everyone, this is Marius. He's studying Law, and doesn't really show vital signs until you talk to him for at least two minutes."

"Excuse me."

"Alright, you're only dead when you're studying."

Enjolras turned back to the other students.

"Right. I have the roundabout location of the barricade. The Rue Saint Denis is ideal." He pulled a map out of his coat pocket, spreading it across the table. "Several streets converge there- if volunteers from the people want to join, they have plenty of ways to get to the barricades. Also, if we need to get out quickly, we have several routes of escape. If worst comes to worst, some of us will survive."

Jolie looked up.

"We really are doing this then. Revolution."

"Did you think it was a joke?"

Marius looked up finally.

"But this is hardly for us to decide!" He protested. Enjolras raised an eyebrow.

"You _like _this government?"

"Of course not!" Marius retorted. "This system is definitely flawed. But is it for us to decide what the people want?" He continued. "Once we make decisions that belong to the people, we are no better than the current government."

Enjolras looked at him quizzically.

"But this is what the people want!"

"How do you know?" Marius replied. "It's not our place to judge!"

"What about the beggars that sit out there waiting to die? What about the prostitutes that get laid so they can eat? They _need_ this!" Enjolras yelled.

Marius thumped the table.

"And how do you know the new system will be better? We revolted before, and got another leader who oppressed us just as much as before!"

"It's worth a try!"

"And what will you do when the people topple _you_? Or will you get that far? Or will you get shot down on this barricade you love _so_ much?"

* * *

They were still arguing when they got back to their room twenty minutes later.

"You will get yourself killed over something that isn't your even your concern!" Marius shouted.

"I can't be passive!" Enjolras retorted. "Those people need help! No one else is willing to champion them so I will!"

Marius rolled his eyes.

"Champion? Oh, I should have known, this is about glory, isn't it-"

"_Did_ I say that?"

"-too bad you'll be a martyr!"

"Oh, have a little faith!" Enjolras snapped, and strode to his desk.

"Faith? In what?" Marius exclaimed. "That twenty boys with pistols can win against an entire artillery? Don't make me laugh!"

Enjolras lashed out, smashing his inkwell. Black ink flooded across the desk.

"_We don't need you! You aren't irreplaceable, so why the hell should you care if I get shot down?_"

Marius was silenced, staring at his roommate with a mixture of hurt and shock.

"Because I- I-"

And then his hands were on Enjolras's shoulders, pushing him against the chair, and his lips pressed on the other boy's in an open-mouthed kiss.

Almost immediatly, Enjolras pushed him away, a blend of horror and bewilderment on his face as Marius stumbled away, sitting on his bed, burying his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I-"

Enjolras was still staring at him as Marius began to cry, shoulders shaking with sobs. "I can't help it, you're-"

Enjolras grabbed his coat as Marius looked up, his face a picture of misery.

"Where are you going?"

Enjolras didn't answer-the slam of the door behind him spoke more than he ever could.

* * *

Enjolras measured his steps alongside the street, lips still burning from that perverted kiss.

He and Marius were roommates. Friends. Nothing more. But Marius had wanted more. He was... in love with Enjolras.

Enjolras shivered. He wasn't cold.

Marius loved him. They'd watched each other dress, undress... They slept in the same room!

Enjolras bit his lip. He could imagine those beautiful hazel eyes sliding over him, admiring his body-

Beautiful. Oh God. Was he like Marius? This wasn't what he needed, not when he had the revolution... what if the others found out? What if they abandoned him for the safe certainty of college? So they wouldn't have to work with a degenerate. And...

Marius. He must have been terrified someone would find him out. It must have have taken all his courage to kiss him back in the dormitory room. Marius. He'd defied all the social boundaries, his religion- for him. For Enjolras.

"What the hell." He muttered, and went back inside.


	3. Rebels

**Hello you lot! Thanks for following and favoriting and reviewing and so on and so forth. More virtual lapsang souchong and samoa cookies to Shakespeareia!**

* * *

"When was it? When did you really... you know..."

Marius looked over at Enjolras. They had been lying on their respective beds, talking for close to an hour. He shrugged.

"It could have been anytime, really. I'd say something and you'd just _smile..._ and I realized I wanted to make you smile like that all the time. It was absolute torture, knowing that we could only ever be friends." He sighed. "And if word of this gets back to my uncle..." He trailed off, silent.

Enjolras looked over.

"Marius?"

"He's very much a believer. He wouldn't hesitate to turn us in."

Enjolras rolled his eyes.

"Damn the faith."

There was a snort from the other bed.

"Are you sure you really-"

Enjolras interrupted him.

"Yes. Now I am. I started thinking." He smiled weakly. "About Graduation. We won't always be together like this. Oh, we could always write. But somehow, letters would never do my feelings justice."

He looked over at Marius, who stretched his hand out, open and waiting. Enjolras smiled, taking it, fingers entwining.

"I'm going to sleep now." Marius murmured.

"All right. I'll see you in the morning."

"I love you."

Enjolras paused for a moment. It still felt so odd... oh well.

"I love you too."

* * *

Marius opened his eyes groggily. It was still dark out, but Enjolras was at the window, staring out onto the street below.

"What are you looking at?"

"Go back to sleep." Enjolras murmured in reply. "It's nothing."

* * *

"This is too risky."

Enjolras looked up into Marius's gaze.

"I know." Marius replied, and ran a hand through Enjolras's hair.

"All that needs to happen is for someone to open the door." Enjolras adjusted his head, brushing Marius's thigh.

"People do knock, you know."

"But just say someone did." Enjolras propped himself up on an elbow. "That would be the end of it."

Marius pushed him back into his lap.

"You're supposed to be relaxing." He said.

Enjolras rolled his eyes as he complied.

"I really do love your hair." Marius said after a while. Enjolras smirked.

"I know you do. I can't keep your hands out of it."

There was silence, broken only by a faint sigh as Marius's hands moved to Enjolras's shoulders.

"Why did your uncle move you out?" Enjolras asked finally.

"Why do you want to know?"

The blond shrugged against Marius's hands.

"I was just wondering if, perhaps, he found out that you..."

Marius's lips twitched.

"That I'm possessed by the Devil?" He shook his head. "No, he never found out, thank God. I was always careful to bring girls home on a regular basis."

"You brought girls home?"

"Yes." Marius laughed. "And usually the day after I was giving the glassblower's apprentice the eye."

Enjolras was silent.

"Am I making you jealous?"

Enjolras grinned, seizing one of Marius's hands.

"Maybe a little." He ran his lips along the back of Marius's hand, enjoying the sigh he'd ellicited.

Marius's other hand slid over his friend's chest.

Enjolras was sucking on Marius's fingers now, tongue swirling over the tips, when suddenly he stopped, the next finger halfway to his lips.

"I-we shouldn't-we can't do this." He mumbled.

Marius frowned.

"Why not?"

"I just-" Enjolras slid off the bed, making for his own. "No."

Marius laid a hand on his shoulder, spinning him around.

"No. Please don't. Not this soon. Not now."

"Do you expect me to disregard everything I've ever-"

"Forget that. Forget everything they ever told you about love. Because they know nothing." He grasped Enjolras's shoulders. "Do you hear me? They know _nothing._ And they can arrest us, torture us, kill us if they want- but they can't stop this from being real. Because this _is_ real. And they can't erase that." Marius brushed his friend's cheek, bringing him closer. "This is my rebellion."

Their lips brushed, Enjolras wrapping his arms around Marius's neck. The kiss grew in intensity, Marius fumbling with Enjolras's vest, lips on his throat. Enjolras raked his hands through Marius's hair, the boy biting down a moan.

_Quiet, stay silent..._

Enjolras's hips bucked against him, as Marius jerked at the band of his trousers.

_Can't let them hear us..._

Blood seeped from several teeth marks as Enjolras bit into his hand and several drops spilled onto the sheets, red on white.

_Screaming inside..._

Marius wrapped his arms around Enjolras's chest, and buried a cry into his fr-his lover's hair, as Enjolras buckled against him-

_Urghh-_

And then they had collapsed back against the mattress, somehow still whole. Enjolras curled up against Marius, laying his head against his shoulder as the boy played with a single, damp curl of hair.

"That-we-"

Marius put a finger to Enjolras's lips.

"Don't. Let's forget about what the world thinks. It's just us right now."

* * *

Marius opened his eyes. Dark, just like before. Enjolras wasn't beside to him. Marius looked around. Sure enough, he was standing at the window, dressing gown slipping off one shoulder.

He might have been a god, or perhaps a hero in a Grecian myth as he stood there, body bathed in moonlight. He could have lain there forever, simply drinking him in.

He joined him in the end.

"What are you looking at?"

There was no reply, just a nod towards a dark figure across the street.

"Her?"

Enjolras spoke at last.

"I've been watching her for the past few days. She's a prostitute, a beggar by day. I'd give her a couple more days at the most before she dies."

Marius stared at him incredulously.

"And you haven't helped her? Not even some food?"

"Food won't save her." Enjolras replied. "Anyway, she won't take it. She's far too wary of strangers."

Marius gave a snort of disgust and pulled on his trousers.

"Where are you going?"

"To help her!" Marius exclaimed.

"Good luck. She'll just ask you if you want to get laid and how much money you have."

Marius glared at him as he pulled his coat on.

"The least I can do is try."

* * *

"Mademoiselle?"

The prostitute looked up sharply.

"No. Not tonight."

Marius sighed.

"I don't want-listen, is there anything you need? You..." How could he tell her she was dying?

"Go away." She said. "I'm not a rat, so don't try to poison me! I've met your type before! They just want to clean up the streets."

The woman stood up, staggered away. Even from several feet away, Marius could hear her labored, sickened breath.

* * *

_Click._

Marius opened the drawer of his desk, taking out his pistol. Enjolras watched him curiously from a distance. Marius had just come back inside, all but thrust his coat at Enjolras, and was loading his pistol. He placed it beside Enjolras's on the table by their beds.

He turned to Enjolras.

"Tell me what to do. I'll fight on your barricade."

* * *

**Comments, concerns, thoughts, dedications, reviews?**


	4. Break

It was midafternoon in Paris, and the streets were facing brutal congestion. Of course, the sea of beggars that hindered each carriage's progress was nothing new, but it didn't help that a swarm of students were slowly pushing their way through the throng. The pleas of the beggars and the curses of the drivers were harsh, desperate, and angry.

To Enjolras, it was beautiful.

Several long nights of planning, slipping notes under doors, handing out pamphlets, and unceasing debate at the ABC had finally paid off. They were here. At last.

"Come on." Enjolras turned to Marius, hand outstretched. "Go up with me."

"Don't you think that's a bit... odd? You instigated this, remember? I'm just a revolutionary." Marius took a step back. Enjolras seized his arm.

"You are much more than just a revolutionary, Pontmercy." He whispered in his ear. "You're coming with me, and you'll take your newfound infamy like a man."

Rolling his eyes, Marius stepped onto the government platform with Enjolras.

"Men!" Enjolras shouted above the noise. The students' faces still looked blank. "_MEN!_" Now he had their attention. "We are so close. Our time is near. But," He glanced at Marius. "We cannot do this without the people's aid. We need something that will rally them, to unite us!" Enjolras turned to Marius, who looked vaguely surprised at being asked to speak. He faced the crowds.

"Right. Lamarque is ill. Dying. Very soon, the last symbol of hope for the beggars around us will be dead."

"That's when we strike." Enjolras chimed in. "We are their hope. we are their future!"

The students below cheered, and Marius stiffened as Enjolras brushed his hand. He glanced at Enjolras who grinned back at him.

"For France! For the people!"

Their cry was taken up by the students, as well as several men outside the group.

Just as Marius leaped off the dais, he heard a shout.

"Boy!"

His grandfather was beckoning over from where his carriage was being swamped.

"You're being a fool!" He said as Marius went to the window. "Do you realize what your doing to the family name?"

Marius sighed.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, Grand-père. After all, when have you ever had a cause that you were willing to die for?" He turned away in a desperate attempt to save himself from the oncoming tirade, when he felt a pair of eyes on him. He looked around, meeting the gaze of a woman. Blonde, pale. She raised one gloved hand in greeting.

Grantaire joined him, waving a hand in front of his eyes playfully.

"Marius? Mar-ius..." He laughed at Marius's expression, which resembled that of a cat after being hit with a frying pan. Blank, faintly confused. "Marius, come on. We've got a meeting at the Musain!"

"Hmm? Oh, right."

He allowed Grantaire to pull him away; meanwhile his mind reeled.

_I've never- I've never even been infatuated with a woman before. I don't even know her name... what if Enjolras finds out? Oh God..._

* * *

Right." Enjolras said. "Gentlemen, as we said earlier, we have everything we need except the final event, the catalyst that will push the people into action. Marius-" He sighed. "_Marius._"

He'd been lost in thought, about the blonde girl, about Enjolras. He was steadily becoming more confused.

"I'm sorry?"

Enjolras rolled his eyes.

"I was _hoping_ you could go into further detail about Lamarque's current condition."

"Ask him about the girl he saw in the street." Grantaire advised. "You'll get better results."

Enjolras frowned, and Marius felt something inside him break.

"Girl? What girl?"

"Go on, Marius!" Grantaire teased. "Tell us all!" He had obviously mistaken Marius's hopeless confusion for lovesick embarrassment.

Marius sighed.

"I barely saw her." He said. "She was... pretty, but-"

"Don't give us that tripe!" Grantaire laughed. "I saw you! You couldn't take your eyes off her."

Marius stole a glance at Enjolras, to no avail. His face was a mask.

"I-"

"Do you want to fight in this revolution?" Enjolras asked.

"Yes."

"Are you certain?"

"_Yes!_"

"Then forget about her until the revolution ends." Only Marius was able to read desperate pain in Enjolras's eyes. He turned his attention to the others.

"That goes for all of you. Any sweethearts you may have, any girls you may want, put them out of your mind. We have a higher cause."

"Easier said than done!" Marius retorted. "Do you have any idea what that's like? To love someone and know you might never get a chance to tell them?" He immediatly winced at the cold look Enjolras gave him. So frigid, yet somehow gave the impression that he was screaming on the inside.

Marius was vaguely aware of Gavroche running in... General Lamarque was finally dead...

But not even this resounding news could get through to him. He was still so confused...

Eponine was beckoning to him from the stairwell. He joined her, if anything, to avoid having to look at Enjolras.

"I found her." She said in an under-tone.

"Thank you." Marius glanced behind him. Enjolras was watching him. He looked tired.

* * *

"This is brilliant, this is absolutely brilliant!" Enjolras seized his pistol, reloading if, not so much out of necessity as something to do with his hands.

"I know. Enjolras, I'm sorry-"

"The night before we revolt against the wealthy, you become infatuated with the blonde bourgeoisie."

Enjolras cocked the gun, pointing it at his reflection in the mirror. Marius buried his head in his hands.

"Enjolras, I'm sorry..."

"And this isn't with our personal lives in the equation." Enjolras dropped the gun on the bed again sorting through his sacks of bullets.

"You just can't help but destroy everything you touch! I should never have taken you to the cafe!"

Marius stood.

"Is this all you care about? Your precious barricade?" He seized the lapels of Enjolras's coat. "What about us?"

Enjolras stared back at him, and once again Marius caught the scream in his eyes.

"About us? I thought you'd given up on _us_ the moment you started waxing lyrical on _her_!" Enjolras grabbed Marius's wrists.

"Did her pretty blue eyes unhinge you so much?" He sneered.

"Stop it! I still need to sort out my feelings."

"You love me, or you don't. It's me, or her. It can't be both." Marius broke out of Enjolras's grip.

"If you think that, you know _nothing_ about love."

"Do I?" Enjolras asked. "I know I love you. I know I can't take my eyes off you. I know I'd die for you." He tossed one of the bullet sacks back onto the bed. "But _obviously_ you don't feel the same."

"_YOU ARE A MACHINE!_" Marius whirled around, eyes blazing. "You are a machine. No matter what anyone tells you, you refuse to listen. You ignore it! You don't grow, you don't change! You don't _live!" _

There was a shocked silence.

"I may be a machine." Enjolras said finally. "But at least I have my priorities straight."

Marius turned to the desk, avoiding having to look at Enjolras.

"Everything I ever said to you. Forget it. I could never love you."

"_GET OUT!" _The first sob broke through Enjolras's voice as he screamed. "I don't want to look at you! I never want to see you again!"

Marius folded his arms, still facing the desk.

"Because at least _she's_ human!"

"_GET OUT! GET OUT!" _

Marius ran for the door, slamming it behind him. Now alone, Enjolras fell onto his bed, feeling his inner dam finally break.

"I hate you." He sobbed into the pillow. "I hate you."

* * *

Several hours later, Marius opened the door with a creak.

"Enjolras?"

The other man was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Enjolras."

No response.

"Enjolras, I know you're awake."

Nothing.

"Please don't shut me out. I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry." Marius sat on the bed beside him, tentatively stroking his hair. Enjolras pulled away sharply.

Marius sniffed, feeling a tear roll down his cheek.

"I still love you. You do know that, don't you?"

Finally, Enjolras spoke.

"Get some sleep, Marius."

* * *

**Thoughts?**


	5. Barricade

Chapter 5

It was still dark when Enjolras woke. He dressed silently and quickly, raking his fingers through his hair. The action reminded him of Marius, of last night. Regretfully, he turned to look at Marius's bed, at his sleeping form. It looked as if he'd been crying in his sleep.

Gently, Enjolras brushed Marius's cheek, trying to memorize the feel of his skin in a single touch. Marius opened his eyes, immediatly catching his hand, holding to his cheek.

Enjolras pulled away, but gently. Marius sat up, watching him make for the door.

"Enjol-"

The door shut.

Marius dragged himself out of bed, pulling his clothes on.

If only he hadn't let him leave. He should have pulled him into bed, lain with him until they forgot about the revolution, until they forgot about the world. But then, he doubted if Enjolras would have stayed.

Now, the very least he could do for Enjolras after last night was to fight in his war.

He tramped down the stairs, out onto the streets, when he caught a flash of red.

"Enjolras!" He ran to catch up with the revolutionary. Enjolras turned, seeming to sigh when he noticed Marius.

"What are you doing here?"

"Lamarque's funeral." Marius said. "Revolution."

Enjolras raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you wouldn't be coming." He replied.

"Of course I'm still coming." _I'd go anywhere with you_. "I'm still fighting." _I still love you._

"Fine then." Enjolras turned, continued to walk.

Marius sighed. Was this how it was going to be? Cold indifference? And they would never have a moment alone for a long time... perhaps not ever...

* * *

The funeral procession was just rounding the corner when Marius arrived among the crowds. There was dead silence among the crowds-sheer dead hopelessness.

The black horses clopped along the street at a somber pace, duly directed by the coachman. And then Enjolras ran into the road, flag flying out behind him, waving it before of the procession.

"Vive la France!"

Marius followed with a flag of his own, leaping onto the coffin itself. A moment later, Enjolras joined him, drawing his pistol. Marius did the same, backs pressing together as their scarlet banners dipped through the air.

Enjolras glanced out at the screaming crowds, many of them running behind the wagon, which drove on, although he could hear the hoofbeats behind them, signaling the fast-approaching soldiers. The feel of Marius's body flush against his own-so alien in a public place-was delicious.

He always had loved rebelling.

It was then that the streets exploded into chaos. The soldiers had finally arrived, fully armed. Students darted in and out of shops, bearing furniture, barrels-anything that could build. Everyone who couldn't or wouldn't fight were instead fighting to clear the roads, mothers pulling their sons behind them. They had to stay away from those students with their radical ideas. Death followed them wherever they went. There was no doubt in anybody's mind- the barricades were rising.

* * *

"Gavroche!" Enjolras's shout alarmed the small boy. He turned, curls bouncing. "You're going to fight?"

The boy nodded eagerly.

"'Course I am! These toffs need a good bite in the trousers!"

Enjolras smiled, in spite of himself.

"Those toffs are aiming to kill." He told Gavroche. "Are you sure want to risk your life?"

"If they're aiming to kill, then so are we!" The student clapped a hand on Gavroche's shoulder.

"Good man."

* * *

In his mad dash, Marius bumped into another revolutionary, this one curiously endowed in the chest area. He took another look at the face. Realization dawned.

"Eponine?"

The girl smiled.

"Marius!"

Marius fished a letter out of his pocket.

"Eponine, could you do me a favor? I need this delivered to Cosette." It had occurred to him that if Cosette learned that he was fighting on the barricade-he might as well write her one last letter. Infatuation or not on his part, _she_ would care.

Eponine sighed, taking the letter.

"Thank you!" He watched her go, remembering Enjolras's words not so long ago. _"You do know she's sweet on you?"_ He wondered if Enjolras had been right.

* * *

"He's back!" Enjolras turned as their volunteer informant pulled himself back over the barricade.

"They won't attack tonight." He said. There were looks of relief among the ranks as the news spread. "They want to starve us out first, less of bite to chew."

"Liar!" Heads turned as Gavroche stood up, performing an elegant bow.

"Evening, my dear inspector!" He waved cheerily. "You're looking lovely tonight! May I say that cockade suits you?" He looked around the circle of students. "His name's Inspector Javert, and he's been lying to you all along!"

The man-Javert-bolted, making for the wineshop, when several students blocked his path. Diving to the side, his fist connected conveniently with Enjolras's nose and Marius growled something unintelligible, fist thumping the back of Javert's head. As the other students bound Javert's wrists, Marius went to Enjolras.

"Are you all right?"

Enjolras grinned, shrugging it off.

"I've had worse."

Marius gave him a look.

"You're bleeding."

"It won't be the first time, and it certainly won't be the last." He rolled his eyes as Marius ran his fingers along the bridge of Enjolras's nose.

"You should be fine."

"I told you."

Marius rolled his eyes.

"It's my job to worry about you."

* * *

"Soldiers attacking!" The cry came from the barricade itself, where Joly stood watch. The revolutionaries rushed there, making a frantic grab for bullets and cartridges.

The first wave of bullets came raining down on them.

Enjolras looked around wildly. No one seemed to be hurt, miraculously. Taking a deep breath, Enjolras seized a chair leg, climbing onto the barricade. It wasn't that steady-Enjolras could feel the whole structure shaking underneath him. Another breath, and then he fired, straight at the man in front of him. He then nearly lost his balance as the rest of the revolutionaries climbed on after him. The street echoed with gunfire. Enjolras wished he could make sure Marius wasn't hurt, but there was no time-dawdle and you got shot.

* * *

Marius jerked back as his pistol fired again-singing his hand in the process. The air was becoming thick with gunpowder, and his nose felt tormentingly raw. He chanced a look up at Enjolras, who was leading the attack, noticing how he was gradually falling back. They weren't going to hold out for much longer. Again at Enjolras, his brow furrowed, eyes streaming from the powder. And then he remembered something his aunt had said to him once- "Love is one part romance and nine parts sheer desperation." She'd said.

With a cry nobody heard, Marius seized a keg of gunpowder, fighting his way to the top of the barricade.

"No! Stop!" The gunfire ceased as Marius found himself directly between the soldiers and the revolutionaries. He turned his attention to the soldier at the front.

"Pull back, or I shoot." The barrel of his gun pressed against the gunpowder. "Pull back or I shoot and kill you all."

The soldier at the front narrowed his eyes.

"And yourself as well?"

Marius matched his stare.

"And myself with it."

There was a horrible pause. Enjolras closed his eyes.

"Pull back!" There was the sound of feet on cobbles as the soldiers retreated.

Marius abandoned the keg, all but stumbling from the barricade.

"What were you doing-"

"-You could have gotten us all killed!"

"Are you a fool?"

Marius ignored them all, he felt violently sick all of the sudden.

Someone caught him just as he fell and Marius buried his face in their neck-Enjolras.

"Are you an idiot?" Enjolras whispered in his ear. "What the hell were you thinking?" He sounded as terrified as Marius felt.

"Didn't... want... to see... you die..."

Enjolras snorted.

"So you decided you'd just kill me? How does that make sense?"

Enjolras caught Marius as he began to slip to the ground. "Oh no you don't."

He was aware of the looks they were getting from the others, but that didn't matter right now.

"I didn't want them to kill you..."

Enjolras helped him over to a barrel, letting him sit. His hand lingered on Marius's neck.

Grantaire came up behind him.

"Enjolras? Why... what...?"

"Because I care." He said shortly, and went back to the barricade, feeling blood rush to his face.

Just then, a shot rang out, Marius looking up in horror. A thin person was scrambling over the barricade. Eponine fell into Marius's arms.

"I delivered it... like you said..."

Her breath rattled and Marius glanced at her chest in growing alarm. Blood flowed over his hands.

"Oh my god, Eponine..." The girl groaned as Marius pulled her into his lap, cradling her. Enjolras turned away, trying to block out those last feverish gasps. Die. They all would.

Finally, only Marius's sobs remained. Enjolras put a hand on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around him. He felt Marius's lips graze his jaw.

"Shh..."

"Enjol..."

"I'm sorry..."

Marius looked up.

"For what?"

"Everything."

* * *

_Two hours later-_

Enjolras sat at the base of the barricade, watching Marius as he slept. He could just hear the footsteps of their strange new ally as he paced outside.

_Before I say any more, God-if you're listening-I don't regret my actions of late. Not the rebellion, not the fact I'm leading them to their deaths... not Marius. I repent for none of it. _

_Because I am, aren't I? These boys-barely into University, some of them-I'm going to get them all killed. They follow me without question. And they'll follow me into Death._

_This looked so good, sounded so perfect. And now that we're here, now that Eponine's dead and Marius nearly killed us all because he loved me too much... we should have been good boys and stayed home. _

_Marius. He loved me so much. Loves. He's not gone. Not yet. But somehow, I've already lost him. _

_I want it to be Marius. Marius should live. He is the best of us all. And he has someone waiting for him. Whereas I- have no one but Marius. _

_He'll be happy with Cosette. At least he can admit that he loved her. _

_Does it hurt to die? Probably. And I know I'm burning in Hell for every time I touched him. For daring to love him. _

Enjolras bit back a sob, feeling the first hot tears slide down his cheek.

_I love you, Marius. I love you so much. So I don't regret any of it, God. So let me burn in Hell. Take me in exchange for him. Because I love him more._

* * *

"We're alone." Enjolras said from the barricade. "This is all there is. We are it." He glanced around the assembled ranks of students. "If any of you want to leave-if you still have something to live for-do so. Nothing holds you here." No one moved. He looked at Marius. "No?"

"No."

Enjolras grinned in spite of himself. _Thank you. I don't want to lose you just yet._

"Well, then. Men- have at them."

* * *

If yesterday had been a battle, today was a circle of Hell. Bullets flew in every direction. This time, casualties were unavoidable. Out of the corner of his eye, Enjolras saw Courferyac fall, bleeding from his throat. Swallowing bile, he ducked down, reloading his pistol. Another scream made him look up. Jehan Prouvaire this time. Enjolras felt like vomiting.

He cocked his pistol, just as one of the students ahead of him fell. A flash of brown hair- _not him, I told you not to!_

A banshee yell, and Enjolras shot in the direction of the soldier, who was just making it over the barricade.

"You _bastard!_"

He kicked the body back over the side, tears of unbridled anger streaming down his face.

Marius struggled to crawl out of the way of the gun fire, but the bullet in his leg betrayed him. He screamed as a fresh wave of pain shuddered through his thigh.

Suddenly, he felt someone pull him up, dragging him back. He fought against them, yelling at the pain.

"No! What are you doing?!"

"Taking you home!"

"Let go of me!" He struggled free, only to crumple back to the ground. He glanced up at the barricade, watching as Enjolras and the scant remainder of revolutionaries were slowly beaten back. Enjolras ducked just as another bullet flew towards him.

"_NO! ENJOLRAS!"_

He was crying now, as his mystery assailant pulled him back, farther away from Enjolras.

"_LET ME GO! TAKE ME BACK! PLEASE!" _

His injured leg hit the side of the wall, the pain overcoming him.

"Enjolras... please..."

They rammed on the door of one house, screaming, weeping.

"_FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET US IN!"_

_"Enjol... Enj..."_

His head fell back.

* * *

"Upstairs! Now!" The remaining students scrambled up the stairs of the wineshop, all of them bleeding and crying profusely. They could hear the soldiers behind them-fully armed, ready to kill.

Enjolras was shaking and Grantaire had to all but pull him along.

"He-he..." It couldn't have, Marius couldn't have been shot, he was supposed to survive...

In his bloody hands, he still clutched their flag. It was... something to hold. A last symbol of what they had tried and failed to do.

Several gunshots rang out from below, and the small group that huddled together fell back. Dead.

Enjolras and Grantaire backed towards the window, shaking as the footsteps of the soldiers came closer up the stairs.

He could hear Grantaire's terrified sobs next to him-he'd never wanted to die. He'd just been there for a free drink...

_Marius... Marius... gone..._

_"Enjolras, we have to get to class!" _

_Marius... laughing as he was pulled into Enjolras's bed... _

_Marius... kissing his neck as Enjolras struggled with an essay.._. _looking so beautiful that first day, standing awkwardly on the threshold of their room, suitcase in hand..._

_Marius... dead..._

The soldiers had arrived, muskets cocked, pointed at the two boys.

Enjolras raised the flag in his hand. A tear trickled down his cheek as he whispered hoarsely.

"No regrets."


	6. Climbing Towards the Light

**A.N: I would just like to say before I am lynched that there is an alternate ending to this coming soon. With its own plot and more E/M! So keep an eye out for that. It'll called Falling.**

* * *

Marius ran his lips over Enjolras's throat, not even bothering to muffle the moan that came as the blond's hands slid along the insides of his thighs. There was a creak of old bed springs as Marius shifted position, straddling the man beneath him as his hips thrust forward, driving against Enjolras's palms.

"Just let me..." He muttered. Enjolras hitched his legs around Marius's waist, one hand playing along his hip, tracing a swirling pattern onto his skin.

Enjolras wrapped his arms around his lover, gritting his teeth against a cry as Marius found his rhythm.

_His face felt wet... somebody was dabbing at his forehead with a damp cloth. Why would they be doing that? He wondered. I'm not sick, am I?_

_Marius's head fell against Enjolras's chest. Rain was roaring on the roof of the dormitory, thunder rumbling in the distance. _

_"Are you... all right?" Enjolras breathed. _

_"Fine..."_

"Essay... there's an essay I need to write..." Someone brushed his hand.

"I'm sorry?"

"Enjolras?" He seized hold of the other person's fingers.

"I'm sorry," They-_she_ said. "Enjolras isn't here."

_Another crack of lightning and Marius thrust in again, the flash of light illuminating their sweat-soaked forms. Marius gazed down at Enjolras, long after the light faded._

_"_How many times have I told you that you're beautiful?" He murmured.

"You... never did..."

"Haven't I? I thought I had, when you were tying your cravat... essay! I have an essay due at the end of the week!"

He squinted, there seemed to be some kind of haze everywhere, he could just make out the person's hair...

"Enjolras?"

"No." The person said gently. "Cosette."

Once again with the wet cloth.

"Where's Enjolras?"

"I don't know. You should rest. We need to get you better."

"Rest... better..." Marius nodded slowly, eyes closing again. They snapped open a moment later.

"En-Enjol..." He reached out, entire arm shaking. Enjolras sat next to him, gently pushing his arm back onto the coverlet.

"Shh." He kissed his forehead. "Just sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

Marius caught his wrist.

"Are you sure?"

_"Poor devil. Every friend he had died on that barricade." _

Enjolras smiled.

"Of course I am." One hand caressed his cheek.

"I just don't want to lose you."

_"Even his roommate didn't make it through. Eight bullets, they said. Eight bullets and hanging out the window of a wine shop." _

"It's not true, what they're saying, is it?"

"You have a fever, Marius." Enjolras said. "You're probably just hearing things."

"_I pity him. It sounds like they were close._"

There was a creak, as Enjolras lay down next to him.

"When you wake up, I'll be right here, holding you." He smiled. "Just sleep."

Marius nodded blearily, leaning his head against Enjolras's shoulder, breathing in his scent- rain, with a edge of blood and gunpowder.

_"They say the streets were running with blood..."_

_"...he could be the one surviving revolutionary in the whole of Paris..." _

* * *

_Five hours later-_

His hand slid along the side of the bed and Marius opened his eyes, feeling a sob rise painfully in his throat.

"He lied..."

* * *

_Can't God just give me some peace? _Marius thought as he ascended the stairs to his dormitory for the last time. _Do I honestly have to pack his things away too? That makes this real. I don't want it to be real. _

The room was unchanged, down to the dried tears on Marius' pillow.

_Schoolbooks first. That should be relatively painless. _

Marius dragged his roommate's trunk out from under the bed, trying to swallow his mounting feeling of betrayal.

_He's gone._ He told himself. _You're not trespassing on anything he wanted to hide._ _Just pack the trunk, and put it on the coach. His parents will get it. Wherever they are._

The schoolbooks landed at the bottom with a hollow thud. Like a heartbeat.

Clothes. This was a harder task. Clothes landed wherever in this dormitory, particularly after their relationship intensified.

Shirt, trousers, cravat, a pair of shoes... the red coat-what Marius had wanted to find-was nowhere to be seen. His smell was everywhere.

_I don't even know where they left his body... was he even given a grave? Knowing him, he would have preferred a pauper's grave but... I just want a place that I can mourn properly at. With a headstone. _He looked up at the ceiling of the room. _Not in a university dormitory. Not in a place that will become the next student's. Will he know he's sleeping in a dead man's bed?_

_Thank God I'm leaving._

Now for the desk. Marius limped towards it, rummaging through the ridiculously cluttered space, sorting through papers, maps, drafts for pamphlets-something smooth and hard fell into his hands. A book. No. A journal.

_Just put it in the trunk._ Marius told himself. _Don't even look at it, just put it in- _hating himself for it, Marius turned the first page.

_It's unbelievably dull here. I might as well just write that Latin translation, I have so much time on my hands. _

Marius flipped to a later date.

_He's so trusting, so sure I won't betray him. I can't describe how he looks to me, lying there with his arms around me, hair soaked in sweat-I can't believe I'm leading _that_ into battle. I can't believe I'm killing him. I should never have taken him to the cafe. _

Marius turned the page, shocked into silence.

_Tomorrow we throw our lives away. And I only wish I could bring myself to kiss him goodbye. Maybe tomorrow morning. While he's asleep. _

_He'll probably think it's Her._

_I want my things (books, clothes, etc.) to go to my parents, for all that they'll care. All my love to Marius._

_I want this book burned. No one ever remembers that soldiers have lives outside the battlefield, anyway. _

Marius shut the journal with a snap. He'd known he was going to be killed. He'd written his will out in his diary.

And he'd been right. He was always right. No one survived the revolution.

"_Because this _is_ real. And they can't erase that. This is my rebellion." _

Marius closed his eyes.

_Maybe all rebellions are like that. Only one person ever lives. And it's up to them to pick up the pieces and rebuild. _

He opened them again, staring around the room, now devoid of most of their belongings.

He sat on the bed, wrapping his arms around his legs, feeling the first sob rip through him.

"I'm sorry, Enjolras." His voice cracked. "I'm sorry." The sobs were gasps now, tears streaming down his blotched cheeks. "I didn't mean to live. I didn't want to. I don't." He sighed. "Life without you... means nothing."

* * *

Rain struck the window in small, blade-like drops. Marius traced his finger along one tear drop that slid down the glass.

_Funny_. He thought. _I thought Enjolras and I would go on forever._ _Stupid of me. But how was I to know that I'd lose him. Eight bullets, hanging out of a window... _

"Marius?"

He smiled weakly, turning to look at Cosette. She smiled back.

"Are you all right? You seem a little vacant..."

"It's nothing." He said. "Just shocked. I never thought... he died the day we married."

She nodded.

"I know. It was very brave of him, saving you like that."

He smiled, swallowing back his sorrow.

Cosette came forward, kissing him gently. A tear trickled down his cheek as he undid the laces of her overgown.

"I love you." He murmured.

Cosette nodded, her mouth moving to his jaw.

"I love you too."

_Please, don't._

He sat on their bed, pulling her into his lap.

Undoing the buttons of his shirt, her corset, letting her blonde hair tumble into his face...

_Please, no!_

How ironic. The one time he was allowed to cry out, he couldn't bring himself to.

He'd loved it, that beautiful agony-stay silent, stay quiet-gone.

_Enjolras... Enjolras... _no!_ Cosette... oh god, he was beautiful... _

Her lips grazed his chest. Another tear down his cheek.

_I shouldn't think of him. Not now. Not here. Why did I think I could be happy like this?_

A couple strands of yellow tickled his chin.

_Why did they hate _us_ for loving each other, but condone misery like this? _

Marius left Cosette sleeping, pulling a blanket over her as he went to the window.

"I loved him." He whispered, cracking on the last word. "I loved him so much." His head hit the pane of the window.

_All my love to Marius._

He turned back to look at Cosette, lying in bed, asleep, blissfully unaware.

_He was there, and then gone. How was he supposed to die? They always tell you true love triumphs... but then, those were always men and women. Fairy tales. _

_And fairy tales don't involve rivers of blood!_

_I want him back. So much. _

Marius turned, back braced against the glass, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

_We lived to rebel, he and I. On a barricade. In a bed. But what did we do? Enjolras dreamed of reformation. Glory. France prospering. I just wanted _him_. And we lost all that in the same blow. _

Marius didn't know if he was speaking aloud or not. He didn't know anything anymore.

_We were happy. And they ripped that away from us. _

_No wonder people fight. No wonder people bite that hand that feeds. No wonder the barricades were built._

_And people ask why mankind rebells. _


End file.
